1 00:00:03,040 --> 00:00:05,040 My name is Senior Master Sergeant . 2 00:00:05,040 --> 00:00:06,818 Rebecca Spitaleri and the first 3 00:00:06,818 --> 00:00:08,651 sergeant with the 35th aero port 4 00:00:08,651 --> 00:00:10,818 squadron at the 5/14 Air Mobility wing 5 00:00:10,818 --> 00:00:13,151 at Joint Base , McGuire Dix , Lakehurst , 6 00:00:13,151 --> 00:00:15,262 New Jersey . My story of resiliency , 7 00:00:15,262 --> 00:00:14,970 you know , as a first sergeant , we're 8 00:00:14,970 --> 00:00:16,930 always focusing on our people . We 9 00:00:16,930 --> 00:00:19,097 always want to highlight our folks and 10 00:00:19,097 --> 00:00:21,152 sometimes the first sergeants forget 11 00:00:21,152 --> 00:00:23,263 about themselves because we got to be 12 00:00:23,263 --> 00:00:25,486 tough , we gotta be strong , you know , 13 00:00:25,486 --> 00:00:27,652 in front of our folks . And I actually 14 00:00:27,652 --> 00:00:29,263 experienced that . And how I 15 00:00:29,263 --> 00:00:31,319 experienced that was when I found my 16 00:00:31,319 --> 00:00:34,030 why in life and how I found that was on 17 00:00:34,030 --> 00:00:36,252 my last appointment . So I was deployed 18 00:00:36,252 --> 00:00:39,010 in 2019 . I went over with the medics . 19 00:00:39,110 --> 00:00:41,110 I was the first sergeant for them . 20 00:00:41,110 --> 00:00:43,277 Never deployed with the medics because 21 00:00:43,277 --> 00:00:45,499 I'm a defender by trade security forces 22 00:00:45,499 --> 00:00:47,721 and it was probably the best deployment 23 00:00:47,721 --> 00:00:49,721 of my life . Uh They were they were 24 00:00:49,721 --> 00:00:51,777 saving lives over there . Long story 25 00:00:51,777 --> 00:00:53,999 short what these airmen were seeing was 26 00:00:53,999 --> 00:00:56,110 affecting them . And as a shirt , you 27 00:00:56,110 --> 00:00:55,280 want to take care of them , especially 28 00:00:55,280 --> 00:00:58,350 when it's affecting you too . And so I 29 00:00:58,350 --> 00:01:00,072 had that support system in the 30 00:01:00,072 --> 00:01:02,239 background where I was struggling . So 31 00:01:02,239 --> 00:01:04,406 I knew my airmen were struggling . And 32 00:01:04,406 --> 00:01:06,628 then the biggest , most scariest moment 33 00:01:06,628 --> 00:01:08,739 of my life was when we almost lost an 34 00:01:08,739 --> 00:01:10,739 arm in one day who he just couldn't 35 00:01:10,739 --> 00:01:12,794 handle the things he was seeing when 36 00:01:12,794 --> 00:01:14,850 we're bringing people in from , from 37 00:01:14,850 --> 00:01:14,410 those battlefields that are getting 38 00:01:14,410 --> 00:01:16,940 injured , severely injured , building 39 00:01:16,940 --> 00:01:19,162 that camaraderie , even on social media 40 00:01:19,240 --> 00:01:21,462 through communications . Seeing that he 41 00:01:21,462 --> 00:01:23,684 was reaching out for help is what saved 42 00:01:23,684 --> 00:01:26,790 his life between his primary leadership 43 00:01:26,790 --> 00:01:29,080 and and his leadership at the command 44 00:01:29,080 --> 00:01:32,210 level , we were able to stop them . And 45 00:01:32,210 --> 00:01:34,210 when I was able to get a one on one 46 00:01:34,210 --> 00:01:37,380 with him , I heard his story and it 47 00:01:37,390 --> 00:01:40,080 totally resonated with me . And at that 48 00:01:40,080 --> 00:01:42,413 moment I realized why I was still alive . 49 00:01:42,640 --> 00:01:44,751 He told me he wanted to take his life 50 00:01:44,751 --> 00:01:47,084 because of all the things he dealt with . 51 00:01:47,084 --> 00:01:49,251 But then on top of it , his whole life 52 00:01:49,251 --> 00:01:51,084 at home had been destroyed . His 53 00:01:51,084 --> 00:01:53,140 girlfriend left him and he just felt 54 00:01:53,140 --> 00:01:52,870 completely lost . He didn't know how 55 00:01:52,870 --> 00:01:55,037 he's going to make it through . And it 56 00:01:55,037 --> 00:01:57,259 was crazy . This guy is telling me this 57 00:01:57,259 --> 00:01:59,314 because I literally went through the 58 00:01:59,314 --> 00:02:01,537 same exact thing he did . Just not on a 59 00:02:01,537 --> 00:02:03,592 deployment right before I deployed a 60 00:02:03,592 --> 00:02:05,870 few months prior when I'm at stateside , 61 00:02:05,870 --> 00:02:07,870 getting ready to deploy , I had the 62 00:02:07,870 --> 00:02:09,870 same thing happened and it involves 63 00:02:09,870 --> 00:02:12,290 some domestic abuse . You know , uh , 64 00:02:12,300 --> 00:02:14,356 it involved me afraid to tell anyone 65 00:02:14,356 --> 00:02:16,300 what just happened to me because I 66 00:02:16,300 --> 00:02:18,467 thought I was going to lose my job . I 67 00:02:18,467 --> 00:02:20,689 thought my life was over . So I reached 68 00:02:20,689 --> 00:02:22,689 out to my friends and basically was 69 00:02:22,689 --> 00:02:24,633 telling them goodbye because I was 70 00:02:24,633 --> 00:02:26,856 going to end my life . So I went out to 71 00:02:26,856 --> 00:02:28,911 the road and I just collapsed on the 72 00:02:28,911 --> 00:02:30,800 ground and I was like , I've been 73 00:02:30,800 --> 00:02:30,660 careful , car runs over me , I'm just I 74 00:02:30,660 --> 00:02:33,640 was done . Uh and my friends came 75 00:02:33,640 --> 00:02:36,310 running . I had my civilian job come , 76 00:02:36,320 --> 00:02:38,760 they helped me , my military family 77 00:02:38,760 --> 00:02:41,800 helped me . And I was with LRS before I 78 00:02:41,800 --> 00:02:45,780 deployed and before I left , uh the 79 00:02:45,780 --> 00:02:48,002 unit was taking care of me . The airmen 80 00:02:48,002 --> 00:02:49,836 are now taking care of the first 81 00:02:49,836 --> 00:02:51,947 sergeant . And it came around in full 82 00:02:51,947 --> 00:02:54,169 term because then it strengthened me to 83 00:02:54,169 --> 00:02:56,280 be able to go and do what I needed to 84 00:02:56,280 --> 00:02:58,502 do to take care of my people overseas . 85 00:02:58,502 --> 00:03:00,724 So sharing that with him , it connected 86 00:03:00,724 --> 00:03:03,120 and resonated with him and it reached a 87 00:03:03,120 --> 00:03:05,850 lot of people beyond that . So , 88 00:03:07,130 --> 00:03:09,710 in retrospect , at that moment , that's 89 00:03:09,710 --> 00:03:11,654 just how I found my why . And if I 90 00:03:11,654 --> 00:03:13,766 would have ended my life that day , I 91 00:03:13,766 --> 00:03:15,932 never would have been there and been a 92 00:03:15,932 --> 00:03:18,099 part of that and , and pushed to fight 93 00:03:18,099 --> 00:03:20,670 suicide as strongly as I did with them 94 00:03:20,670 --> 00:03:23,550 over there . And uh , it definitely 95 00:03:23,560 --> 00:03:25,727 didn't just save my life in his life , 96 00:03:25,727 --> 00:03:27,820 but it impacted a lot of people over 97 00:03:27,820 --> 00:03:31,000 there . And uh , I'm actually proud to 98 00:03:31,000 --> 00:03:33,167 share stories like this because I want 99 00:03:33,167 --> 00:03:35,278 people out there to know that they're 100 00:03:35,278 --> 00:03:34,850 not alone .