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Home : News
NEWS | Jan. 27, 2011

North Dakota Guardsmen attend marriage enrichment presentation

By Army Spc. Cassandra Simonton North Dakota National Guard

BISMARCK, N.D. - Nearly 30 North Dakota Air and Army National Guardmembers and their spouses learned to "Laugh Your Way to a Better Marriage" during a seminar here last weekend.

Mark Gungor, a comedian and motivational speaker, developed and presented the program, designed to help couples understand their differences and ways to adapt to those differences.

It's part of the military's Strong Bonds program, which works to strengthen military families and increase readiness through relationship training and skill-building.

Strong Bonds offers a number of programs servicemembers can attend, depending on their relationship status.

Other events include a Marriage Relationship Enrichment program and Premarital Interpersonal Choices and Knowledge, designed for single servicemembers.

"It's a way the military has of strengthening relationships," said Chaplain (Maj.) David Johnson. "The reason we do this is to allow couples time to be together and have fun while becoming strong in their relationship."

During the two-day "Laugh Your Way" conference, military members participated in the presentation and also received a copy of the "Discovering Your Heart Flag" quiz, a multilevel personality test to help couples understand each other and communicate better.

"People don't stay the same," Gungor said. "Over time, everyone changes - and couples who pay attention are able to adapt."

Gungor said stress causes change, and in military environments, such as overseas deployments, stress can be significant.

"All I'm trying to do is get people to understand each other," Gungor said. "Everyone is different, but if you don't understand why, you feel frustrated."

Chaplain (Maj.) Maury Millican, senior pastor at the Bismarck Community Church that hosted the seminar, as well as a chaplain in the Army and formerly a member of the North Dakota National Guard, has helped bring "Laugh Your Way" to North Dakota for the past four years.

"We started bringing Gungor in to offer the seminar not only for the church but for the couples in the Guard," Millican said.

Normalizing marriage problems was a big part of the presentation. While everyone has challenges, learning to laugh at them and understand them is a large part of making a relationship work.

"When you can laugh at yourself, it really helps the personal growth process," Millican said.

"If you are going to be a Guardsman, you need to strengthen yourself and your most important relationship when you are not deployed so that when you are deployed, your relationship survives the deployment."

"When you know the rest of the story about who someone is, it changes the relationship," Gungor said.